Guidance for First Timers
The internet has made it easier than ever before to find out about escorts. If you want to meet a nice lady and have some fun for a while, you can easily do this in confidence and safety. Your personal reasons for seeking her company are unimportant and she will not be grilling you or judging you. She wants you to feel good. Personally I love seeing First Timers - I feel it's an honour and a privilege to be chosen as your first ever escort experience - a little like being entrusted with a person's virginity! It's a blessing to make a lasting special memory for someone.
The following points are intended to help you plan a successful first encounter if you've never done this before. Treat the whole process like organising a date with a new girlfriend and you will have the right spirit.
As UK legislation stands today, you break no laws by contacting a lady through the internet, arranging to meet her, paying money for her company, spending time with her and doing whatever you get up to together in private. Neither does she. The lady is conducting a legitimate trade and money she receives is the proceeds of self-employment. The laws that do exist surrounding prostitution may be outdated and in need of review, but they are mainly designed to protect the vulnerable and weak from the exploitation of others who seek to profit from them.
Plan in Advance
Arranging an appointment with an escort is not like ordering pizza. It is not usually instant. We are real ladies with busy lives and are not oncall 24/7. Get your diary out. The most popular girls are much in demand and may be booked a month ahead. In general, you will have the best choice by giving more notice. Many ladies insist on an absolute minimum of 24hrs notice so they can prepare themselves nicely for you and make space in their daily plans. If you want an appointment the same day, most independent girls will not be available, so try an escort agency instead.
Decide which part of the country you will be in for your assignation and start by looking at listings for that region. There is no point inviting a lady from Nottingham to visit Bristol for 2hrs. She might be a girl that states she travels nationally, but that will be for longer appointments or overnights. If there is no-one who catches your eye in that region, yes do look further afield for girls who will travel - but they will charge you for coming out of their home area. Personally I choose to serve Nottingham, Derby, Leicester, Birmingham and London, because distance travelling to everywhere else is very time-consuming.
Do you want a lady to visit your hotel or home (outcall) or do you want to visit her in her own premises (incall)? If she advertises outcall only, then she can't suddenly do incall just for you! Choose someone else who does.
Every month there are new escort listing sites launching; some charge you, some are poorly designed for finding girls in your chosen area, some are simply scams. The most useful ones are all well-established, are free for girls to be listed (thus more comprehensive), and free for you to get information. For the UK, the best sites are:
The front page merely has the latest additions to the listings. For a full list, use the Index, choose Agencies or Independents, and choose a region. Virtually every girl with her own website will be listed here, but a few young ones are fakes. Agencies may have 3 girls or 30, some are professional and well-run, some aren't.
Properly regioned by counties, Vixen do not accept links to URLs on free webspace, thereby cutting out the fake sites run by scam webmasters wishing to spam your email.
Some ladies will look appealing to you. They may seem attractive but will their personality suit you? Before you make contact, do read their own website thoroughly to answer your own questions. How do they come over? Are they expressing their own individual character or just using stock phrases? Did they write their own blurb or is it text from a webmaster? Do they appear to offer the kind of experience you want at a price you can afford? Fees and services are not negotiable. The stated fee will cover everything except any extra travel. Of course the most gorgeous hunnies are the most expensive! What did you expect? But price is not an absolute indication of real quality, just market forces. Youth and beauty command a premium, they always have, but they may or may not deliver warmth, empathy, skill and experience. For example, to make a sweeping generalisation, girls under 23 are rather unreliable and far more interested in your wallet than delivering customer satisfaction! Fit young guys are what these girls are accustomed to in their private lives, so if you're 40+ yourself, then as far as they're concerned you have nothing in common, and this work means getting jiggy with an old man. There is also a higher chance they might be pimped.
Some ladies prefer not to mention specific services on their site, and that might not matter, so if you really need to know, refer instead to her reviews, or ask when you contact her, but do be polite about it.
There is a useful Glossary of terms on Puntingzone: www.Puntingzone.com/terms This site is also a friendly and lively community of gents and working girls with themed discussion forums, regional escort listings, reviews, a chat room and internal messaging. A mine of information for you to absorb and to help you become acclimatised.
Let's be honest, Sexually Transmitted Infections are not sexy to think about, and you'd rather not because it spoils the fun, but they are a fact of life and increasingly common in the general population. HIV has a presence in the hetero community, as well as amongst gays and needle users. Herpes is another incurable virus. Syphilis has made a comeback amongst not only gays, but also Swingers, and they have some overlap with the escort community. All of these are also a hazard with illegal immigrant women. Genital warts can occur around the vagina or inside. But alarmingly rife in all age groups these days and under-25s most of all (1 in 10 infected) is Chlamydia. Good escorts practise protected vaginal sex as standard, so you are probably safe from all those nasties. But it's not only vaginal penetration that can give you infections, receiving uncovered oral can too. Gonorrhea bacteria can lurk in a girl's throat, undetected, and be passed to you. It does not enter her bloodstream, it does not make her unwell, it just sits there, left by a previous deep blow-job.
Are you a Gambler? If you are single, you have only your own health to worry about, and that of other girls you see. If you are in a partnership or marriage, then you could be taking home more than a big smile after your escort session; you can infect your partner, and even if you quietly get tested and treated, she will need treating too - now how are you going to explain that?
Condoms are the best protection we have but they are not 100% effective all the time. If you take all your services covered, then you are very unlikely to catch anything ever. Even ladies who offer OWO will happily cover up for OW if that's what you want; just say so. If you want OWO then you can easily get it, but you are choosing to take an unquantifiable risk. Make an informed choice for yourself when you are calm and alone, not in the heat of passion. You will probably be OK, but you might not be, and you can't tell afterwards.
A lot of girls are conscientious and get tested at the GUM regularly, like every 3 months; some don't bother, but they will never admit that to you. Some think once a year is enough! A throat swab is not performed as standard, the girl must know to ask for it. If she's too shy to declare herself as a sex worker she may never have one. And there are thousands of illegal immigrants working as escorts and parlour girls, who will never go near a clinic for fear of authority. So don't bother asking - she has no reason to tell you the truth if it makes her look bad. And anyway - she could equally ask when you were last tested? Hmmm?
NHS clinics do not issue free certificates, and they would be useless anyway because a girl has seen other men since she was last tested. The only private clinics I know of offering testing and certs. are in London and Manchester, as used by the adult film biz. The fewer clients a girl sees, the lower the statistical chance of infection, but this is no guarantee either.
If you like to take your oral uncovered then you should really get yourself tested periodically - you will need to set aside a good couple of hours because there is a deal of sitting around, or else choose an evening clinic. Nowadays many clinics use a simple urine test, but the old way is to hold your urine for 4hrs before attending and then take a thin swab down your urethra twice. Not peeing means any bacteria there will show up better for not being washed away. Every major hospital has a Genito-Urinary Medicine clinic; your records there are secret and are not passed to your GP. You can typically be given an appointment date 2-3 weeks from the day you book, unless you have emergency symptoms, and once tested the full results take another 2 weeks to come back. Men are rubbish at taking responsibility for this, they blame the Working Girl for being 'dirty'. And who infected her? Some guy. Chlamydia and Gonorrhea can be carried and passed on without any symptoms at all. Once diagnosed they are both curable with antibiotics, and like all bacterial infections, they respond best when treated early.
Performing oral sex on a girl is not exposing you to significant risk. If she by unlucky chance has any genital bacterial infection, then it lives inside her vagina around the cervix. I know you think you have a long tongue, but it ain't that long! If you plan to go down on her, check you have no skin-breaks in your own lips, and certainly not any cold sores brewing.
Although there is plenty of Sexual Health information on the web, much of it is rather general and does not make a big distinction between oral and genital contact. On each visit to a clinic I ask questions to improve my own understanding of the issues and in particular the differences that apply to sex workers. Since I've been escorting I've had no problems so far (touch wood) with a clean bill of health at every test. Preserving my own health is also the reason I choose not to indulge in CIM.
As a newcomer you might find it helpful to read other clients' experiences to give you an idea what to expect. What happens during a session with an escort? You share a drink, get to know each other, you chat and you play, you enjoy being together. Bear in mind that we all like different things, so what is 'enthusiastic' to one person might be 'over-acting' to another. You cannot expect an identical encounter to them. The chemistry of a session depends on both of you. A highly unusual porn site devoted to recording encounters with real escorts is www.RealPunting.com which gives you a visual insight into what it can sometimes be like. The Reviews there are free to read, you just pay to look at the videos and pictures.
As a first timer you are safer choosing a lady who is not new herself, with several reviews to give a broader opinion. In the end it is just a guide, not gospel. There are various escort review sites, but a lady might not be reviewed anywhere at all, perhaps because she desires none on grounds of taste, or her customers are not the sort to write them, she may be brand new, or she might have had all her reviews withdrawn at her own request or even as a result of alleged cheating. If she has not had any reviews for a while, don't necessarily be alarmed, maybe her clients feel there is nothing new to report, or they would simply rather keep their intimate memories to themselves!
The biggest archive of escort reviews is www.Punternet.com but the recent reports seem to be mostly of the cheaper ladies in parlours and flats. www.Puntingzone.com has many reviews too, and www.Punterlink.co.uk. A paysite dealing with the more up-market ladies, and particularly good for London, is www.Captain69.co.uk which also has a Forum and ChatRoom.
To start with, do bear in mind that the more popular ladies may be booked up well in advance, so don't leave it until the last minute! Many escorts only work part-time and can only take a few appointments each week. Then there's the Cardinal Rule of contacting escorts - Do Not Waste a Lady's Time; only contact her AT ALL if you are actually in a position to make a booking in the near future.
Some ladies prefer email all the way through negotiation, or just for first contact, so it's best to respect that. Never send attachments - the whole message will be assumed to be spam/ virus and probably never opened.
Don't use an email account you share with anyone else - Duh! - observe discretion.
If you are hoping for a friendly positive reply, you have to do your part too - the lady needs to get a sense of who you are and what you want, so be forthcoming with basic information, don't make it hard work for her. Create a good impression with a properly written brief letter of introduction, it's very easy, and do say this is your first time - she will take that into account. Don't ask questions that are already answered on her site - that makes you look lazy. So what do you include? Well I always want to know a man's location, occupation, age, hobbies, any special requests and any previous escort experience.
It's OK to mail three ladies on your shortlist, but if it looks like a blanket email to dozens, it won't be taken seriously. There is no need to go into the gory details of everything you wish to do with her - that will just put her off. And we know very well that the more elaborate is the fantasy being outlined, then the less likely it is to result in a real appointment. If you seek a particular activity and you're not sure if she can provide it, then ask nicely. Escorts are real women! Generally be pleasant and courteous and you will be rewarded with a nice reply.
Always include: whereabouts you hope to meet, roughly when, and for how long. She needs those factors to look for a suitable slot in the diary. Do sign your first name. Trying to be anonymous and give nothing away is just plain rude. Without proper details she can't help you anyway.
It's understandable that you might be nervous, uncertain she is the right choice for you or unsure whether the two of you will get on, and so you want to get to know her better first. The problem with this is that you are in danger of looking like a Timewaster. Imagine it from her perspective; she gets dozens of those prats every week and becomes highly attuned to the signals - guys who contact escorts just for the thrill of it with no intention of ever spending money. They are the bane of an escort's life and are given short shrift. The quickest way around this is to ask if you can ring for a little normal chat to put you at ease. A few emails or a brief conversation to break the ice are OK. Long rambling calls and ongoing erotic correspondence is not. This is not a free sexchat service - we are all busy people. The time to really get to know each other fully is when you meet.
Whenever you reply to a lady's mail, try to keep the entire correspondence thread intact by hitting 'Reply' otherwise she won't know who you are and what's been covered already. Many girls get lots of mail every week to sift through.
Some ladies don't look at their email regularly and live with their phone as the main contact. The same principles apply - she will expect information from you as well as a chat. Jot down a few reminders of the things you want to find out if you're worried you may be tongue-tied. If you need to leave her a message to return your call later - tell her your first name, when is good to ring, and roughly where and when you were interested in seeing her. Then she knows straight away whether she can help and is much more likely to return your call. NEVER call an escort from a withheld number (this often includes office switchboards). She will not answer. We know from experience that ALL callers from withheld numbers are Timewasters.
How long should you book for your first escort encounter? 2hrs minimum, but quite honestly the longer the better for your sake. Treat it like you would a date. The time will simply fly by and there's no point at all feeling rushed for time, you are unlikely to make the best of it. If you are nervous, which is normal, it will usually take a while to calm down and become relaxed. A lunch/dinner date is the nicest way to get to know a girl in a civilised manner and then adjourn for private time once you have a healthy rapport and feel ready to progress at your own pace. If you fancy splashing out and having an overnight date, bear in mind that is not usually intended as an all-night sex marathon; an overnight includes dinner in a restaurant, a reasonable amount of sleep and breakfast, as well as several opportunities for play. It is an intimate unhurried girlfriend experience.
Ladies choose to see customers they will feel comfortable with and they only offer services they are happy engaging in. Then everyone is content and has a good time. If you really think that your age, race, disability, body size, endowment or any other unusual factor might be an issue for some people, then there's no harm checking with her before you book. It probably won't matter, but every lady is different and she is better off knowing what to expect. As far as your manhood is concerned, there is no such thing as too small, but non-mothers may find a few guys too big for comfort. Girth not length is usually the decider there.
As a general rule, it is your pleasant character that will appeal to a lady, much more than your looks, so have your ordinary charm and humour intact and you'll be fine. Some people have asked "What if I'm not good-looking?" the short answer is - it's irrelevant to this circumstance. If you're just a regular guy, you have nothing to worry about. The majority of clients don't consider themselves handsome. Don't give it a second thought - when the door opens we're expecting Average Jo not George Clooney.
To accept your booking, a lady will need some personal details from you to show you are genuine. Some chaps are terrified that this means they will get pestering calls, or she will track them down and embarrass them. Don't flatter yourself...... I promise you, escorts have better things to do! Her only interest in this information is to ensure her own safety. Each lady has her own procedures and requirements, they vary. It is common to destroy client details after a booking is fulfilled, for the sake of both parties.
If you expect an escort to keep a date for you, turning down other offers, then you need to make a proper commitment, or you will quickly lose it to another enquirer who will.
Credit Cards - When you book a room, the hotel will ask for your credit card to guarantee payment in case you don't show up or trash the room. If all is in order, the card will not be charged without your authorisation, so you needn't worry about tell-tale charges appearing on your statement. At the end you can pay in cash or however you want.
Name - The girl will need to know your real name so that she can verify with the hotel you really have a reservation there. A false name will not tally with your card. For guest confidentiality, hotels sometimes refuse to confirm whether a booking exists unless the lady can quote your booking reference code - that's why she needs this too.
Mobile - Most girls will not accept an appointment unless you give a mobile contact. If she is delayed in traffic getting to you, or lost, or needs to get hold of you urgently, she must have a way to contact you. Escorts understand discretion, and will not be calling you out of the blue when you might be in company and unable to talk freely. They have absolutely nothing to gain by pestering you with unwelcome calls, it is counterproductive to establishing a good reputation and will not secure your business.
Home Landline - to agree to a home visit, it is normal for a lady to check your ID through directory enquiries. So you need a landline registered in your name at that address. If you have only lived there a few months, this might be a problem if it's not yet on their database. It is not a problem if you are ex-directory - you still exist as a phone customer.
Deposit - some ladies require a deposit if you want a long appointment or she will be travelling a long way to meet you. Once you have made a firm booking, she will be turning down other enquiries and she needs to know you are serious.
Hotels and Discretion
Hotels make money from guests. They don't want to deter you from using them, neither do they care what you get up to in the privacy of your room. If you are asked at the time of booking for the name of your guest (unlikely) it is just for fire regulations, the same applies to how many people will be staying overnight in the room.
Generally it is possible for a lady to enter any hotel and proceed straight to your room without anyone taking any notice. Escorts do not wish to draw attention to themselves any more than you do. If you have asked her to attend you in a micro-mini and fishnets she will either wear a long coat to hide them or bring them with her to change into! When you arrive yourself to check in, if finding your room is awkward or there is only keycard access to use the lifts, then you can advise her when you call her with your room no. Perhaps you can meet her in the car park and escort her in. If she will need a token to exit the car park barrier, get one ready for her.
If your rendezvous is only for some hours in the afternoon, and you do not yourself intend to stay the night, just book and check in as normal. When you are done and need to go, check out explaining that you have been called away and will not be staying after all. They are not going to interrogate you! They honestly don't care.
The Day Before
If you are not in full good health, it's best to reschedule the appointment for another date - a girl will prefer that to being given your germs which might put her out of action for a week and necessitate cancelling other people. It's only fair. Hotels vary in their policy - there is usually no penalty for cancelling up to 24hrs ahead, or for many, up to midday on the day itself.
If for any other reason in the days running up to the booking you need to cancel, or just get terminal cold feet, for God's sake let her know straight away. She will be grateful you told her as soon as possible, so the date can go back on offer. Never cancel by text - it's bad manners and you have no guarantee she will definitely receive it.
It is entirely normal for you to feel nervous at this stage, don't worry. The good news is - this is not a test, there are no particular expectations, this is a nice treat and she will want you to be happy. No need to fret about whether she will like you and whether you will score at the end - it's all in the bag! You can relax in the confidence that there will be a positive outcome. Nerves occasionally affect performance, but that doesn't matter either, she won't be offended. Just do the stuff you like. Whatever happens you can expect her to stay the full time booked (unless you don't want her to) and enjoy her company. You are paying for her time.
If you think some early drinks will calm your nerves before she arrives, think again - alcohol famously diminishes your erection, your judgement and your sensitivity - it numbs you from your own pleasure and makes you extra clumsy and heavy-handed with her instead of sensual. She will notice quickly and it will spoil the occasion. Ladies definitely prefer you sober. One glass for Dutch courage is not a problem. More than one will be. You will quite likely be sharing some drinks with her anyway to get relaxed, so you really don't need a head start.
A word about Viagra here - this is not a cure for nerves either. Leave it alone. Ladies are perfectly used to nervous clients and have techniques to put you at ease and build your excitement and pleasure in a natural way. Drugs of any kind will interfere with your ability to respond and climax. Viagra is prescribed for men with erectile dysfunction who can't sustain wood at all without help, often due to Type II Diabetes. Used recreationally by a normal man it will give you a thumping headache, make your face bright red (oh what a giveaway), loosen your bowels, stop you thinking straight, make your dick over-hard whilst losing a whole dimension of sensitivity, and prevent you coming when you really want to. Generally girls don't like it, because they know it means you're going to take forever, be really hard work and end up making them sore. That's not the idea of a nice escort session, we want to please you but we also have reasonable physical limitations, so do us a favour here. We would much prefer a natural human interaction with you without chemical complications thank you. Escorts are normal women who like sex, not superhuman fuckdolls.
Escorts always bring their own preferred condoms - so that's one less thing for you to worry about. As soon as you check in to your hotel you will need to let the lady know your room number. This also serves as final confirmation for her that you have arrived safely, all is well and it's Game On. Just as if you were meeting a new girlfriend, allow yourself time for a full shower, shave and teeth-clean before she arrives. Why? No matter what time of day your liaison, you have already spent many hours in the office and the car and you smell: your feet smell, your butt smells, your armpits smell, your breath smells, your dick smells. You can't tell because your nose is a long way from those places; play your cards right and hers won't be. And people sweat more when they're nervous. And your chin was last smooth at 7.00 this morning.
Paranoid yet? Good. Take care of it. If you are fresh as a daisy she will enjoy being close to you.
Hopefully you have already trimmed short your fingernails (rounded not square - no sharp edges please) and toenails beforehand, to avoid accidentally snagging stockings and scratching delicate skin. She will notice and appreciate all your grooming efforts. If you are tempted to shave your groin - please don't! The natural springy cushion of hair is far more comfortable than short stubble against her sensitive flesh. You might make her sore. A light pruning with scissors occasionally is just fine.
The lady will normally make her way straight to your room at the appointed time - it's easier than searching for a stranger in a public bar. Have the fee ready for her in an unsealed envelope and hand it over unprompted within the first 10 minutes. She may well count it in front of you so you are both happy it is correct. There are instances of mean guys thinking it's clever to try and cheat girls. Despicable behaviour. Or there may be a genuine confusion of how much the exact time + travel does cost. And if you have chosen to include a tip, she will want to know so she can thank you! (this is not expected)
Offer her a drink and settle down for a chat so that you can both get to feel comfortable with each other. It might be your fantasy to be met at the door by a sexy siren in satin suspenders, but it is unreasonable to expect her to leap into action straight away - she will want to satisfy herself that you seem sane and stable and she is in a safe situation before she even thinks about proceeding. Go with the flow. The better the rapport you build, the more natural and fulfilling the intimacy will be. Many guys value the friendly companionship of a lovely woman just as highly as the physical games.
If you feel too rushed and you really need more time than originally agreed for the fee, you can sometimes pay pro-rata to extend the session; it depends on her transport and plans. If she stays, she may need to let someone know she will be finished later, for security. Do not expect her to stay longer for free.
These notes for guidance have been compiled from points raised in emails I have received, from charming but scared newbies, who want to see an escort but are terrified and seek reassurance. So if that sounds like you, then I hope they help. If there is something I haven't covered, just ask. It is not my place to persuade you this is something you should do, but if you decide it is, I will do my best to make you glad you did!
Celebrate & Enjoy Life - This is not a Rehearsal
Copyright © 2016 Ruth Beaufort